Scrabble’s Two Letter Words — Os & Ow

Os

Os — An outmoded word for bone used mostly by medical professionals. Alternatively, an outmoded word for an orifice or opening also mostly used by a medical professional.

Both definitions are borrowed from Latin, though with the Latin word for ‘mouth’ it’s sometimes spelled with an accent mark (ōs) and the ‘o’ is typically elongated. Here’s hoping that difference was enough for two old-timey doctors to not confuse a tibia with a uterus.

Some doctors still use the word ‘os’ to refer to a bone. That’s because the tibia is technically the ‘os tibia’ or ‘tibia bone’. The ulna is the os ulna. And so on and so forth. But I want to talk about the os fabella, and all the other accessory bones that might be swimming around in your body.

Accessory bones are bones that aren’t usually found in the body, but infrequently develop in some humans. They are leftover remnants of our evolutionary ancestors, coded into the human genome, and activated in rare individuals. The most common accessory bone is the os fabella, which is present in 39% of all humans and is located behind the other bones in the knee. The word ‘fabella’ is Latin for ‘bean’, and it’s called this because it looks like a little lost bean, trapped inside the tendon.

The os fabella may be the most common accessory bone, but the human hand is a complicated compound of small bones and it’s possible your hand features a bonus bone as well. Of the fifteen most common accessories, there’s an 18.7% chance to find an extra bone wiggling around in there (that is, once you run some P(at least one) odds calculations based on the chart in Wikipedia.)

Some other common places to find accessories are in the feet, ankles, neck, spine, and shoulders. It’s likely you have at least one accessory bone somewhere in your body, but the chances that you have a particular accessory bone is low. That’s why they often get confused with bone fractures. If you bust your hand and the x-ray shows a couple splinters near your knuckles, information bias can kick in. Your doctor is looking for fractures, and when they find bits of bone loose in your body, it can be easy to conclude they found what they’re looking for. But your doctor might instead be looking at a holdover chunk of calcium and marrow from when your great ancestors walked on their knuckles.

~

Ow

Ow — ‘That hurt’, but in a yelling sort of way. Ow also pops up in music lyrics as an alternative to ‘Whoo!” See also: Michael Jackson and Lil’ Wayne.

A small but important detail is that ‘ow’ infers the pain passed. No one says ‘ow’ or ‘ouch’ while they are caught in a three-way handshake between Dutch and Dillon in the movie Predator. That would elicit an “Aaaaargh! What are you doing! The bones in my hand are powderizing under the sheer force of your combined magnetic machismo! AAAAAAAARG!!!” No, ‘ow’ gets said after the damage is done. You already slipped and fell on your butt. Your body reacts by lifting your backside off the pavement while you grasp your booty to protect it and do an impromptu pole dance routine. The realization sets in that you’ve been hurt, so you make an open vowel sound with your mouth, then shut it in an attempt to control and name the pain. The pain is named ‘ow’. Continue to shimmy that booty, and repeat ‘ow’ as necessary.

The ‘ow’ doesn’t need to be a physical pain. Merriam-Webster includes an entire entry for ‘ow’ when things are too expensive. For example: One of the most prestigious hotdogs in the world can be found at New York City’s 230 Fifth. The two foot long dog is made from sixty day dry-wagyu beef, and topped with Vidalia onions caramelized in Dom Perignon, sauerkraut braised in Cristal champagne, and caviar. But it needs to be ordered 48 hours in advance, and will set you back $2,300. Ow.

Ow doesn’t even require the pain to be happening to us. When a child at a teeball game swings a whiffle ball bat back into the front of the umpire’s pants, the dads in lawn chairs nearby protect their jewels with their hands, shift uncomfortably, and suck their breath between their teeth and/or say ‘ow’. Even women in the crowd are prone to react, and they can’t experience that exact pain.

Which brings us to the idea of pain synesthesia. Did you know that some people feel pain when they see other people in pain? No, not an instinctual reaction backed by imagination. I’m talking about a nervous response so sympathetic it results in verifiable pain, backed by ct scans. The pain doesn’t need to be mirrored one for one, either. A football to the back of the head may result in a smarting sensation in the back of the head for one synesthetic individual, but it could also translate to a sharp pain behind the knee to another individual. The human mind is a strange and wonderous computer that’s capable of repairing its own code. But the work is done without oversight, and sometimes results in convoluted connections.

Some people also get mirrored sensations when they witness any contact to another person. Tickling someone else may result in the synesthetic to giggle and snort. And watching someone getting hugged can result in a warm and cozy sensation. But this form of synesthesia is much rarer, only affecting about 1.5% of the population. Pain synesthesia is far more common, and it’s predicted that 17% of the population experiences some form of it or another.